


"It's a full moon."

by batkat



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Aurors, Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Remus Lupin deserves the world, a little angst & a little fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:35:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27508456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/batkat/pseuds/batkat
Summary: A Remus Lupin one-shot that is set during "Order of the Phoenix" and takes place at Grimmauld Place Nr. 12.Reader only recently joined the order and is an Auror working at the Ministry of Magic, spying on them on Dumbedore's behalf.
Relationships: Remus Lupin & Reader, Remus Lupin - Relationship, Remus Lupin/Reader, Remus Lupin/You, remus lupin x reader
Kudos: 51





	"It's a full moon."

**Author's Note:**

> “I just don’t want you to become a background character to your own life.”  
> “I spent so many years trying to hide who I really am, it is easy to forget that I don’t have to do it any longer.”

“Merlin’s beard am I glad to escape this weather”, you murmured with chattering teeth while stomping your feet to stay warm. “I wholeheartedly agree with you”, said Kingsley Shacklebolt as you reached out to ring the doorbell of Grimmauld Place 12. “No, don’t!”, Kingsley called though it was already too late. The shrill sound of the bell was momentarily replaced by a wail, then a scream and a high-pitched voice started yelling obscenities at such a volume, you were surprised the Muggles didn’t notice. But then again, Muggles rarely noticed anything.

“Damnit”, you cursed and threw Kingsley a remorseful glance. “Just for a second I had forgotten about her.” He sighed, massaging his temple with his right hand. “This is going to be a long night.” “Sorry”, you said again just when the door was opened. “Alright”, said Sirius, pointing his wand in your face, then in Kingsley’s. “Which one of you dared to wake my mother at such an hour?” Kingsley pointed wordlessly at you. Sirius raised an eyebrow. “Kingsley, go ahead.” The huge wizard muttered something under his breath, then squeezed past Sirius into the warm albeit dark and musty-smelling entrance hall. “FILTH, MUDBLOODS, TRAITOR TO YOUR OWN KIN!“, Walburga Black continued to shout.

“Sirius”, you began, raising your voice so you could be heard over the portrait’s infernal screams. “It is freezing out here, I can’t feel my feet, and have I already said I was sorry?” Sirius grinned. “I simply enjoy watching you suffer.” He pocketed his wand and pulled you into a tight embrace. “It’s good to see you.” “You too”, you said as he stepped aside to let you enter. “But you *are* insufferable”, you added while taking off your coat.

“-INSUFFERABLE COWARD; CONSPIRING WITH MUD-BLOODS!” “Good evening to you, too, Mrs. Black” you cooed. “Still haven’t learned any new lines, I see.” You blew her a raspberry and turned around to see whether Sirius would join in on the teasing, but he simply stood there, his face filled with rage and frustration. “Sirius”, you said a little softer. “Ignore her.” He shook his head, like he was coming out of a trance. With a wave of his wand he closed the moth-eaten velvet curtains, thereby muffling his mother’s screams at least a bit. “Come on”, you took him by the arm. “The others are waiting already.” “How would you know?”, asked the wizard with a deep laugh, his anger seemingly forgotten. “You are late by a whole hour.” You walked through the corridor, past the kitchen in which Fred, George and Ginny were playing a game of exploding snap. You quickly waved them hello and then turned towards the great wooden doors of the living room. “Hey, Kingsley was late too!” You gave Sirius a dig with the elbow which he only narrowly avoided. “Alright, alright”, he said as he knocked on the door. “You win.” “Thanks, Padfoot”, you grinned when the door was opened by Mrs Weasley.

“Sirius, what took you so long?” “My mother was literally screaming her lungs off-“, “Oh, that could have happened to any of us, don’t you worry dear”, Molly said in turning to you, Sirius seemingly forgotten. “It’s good to see you, Molly”, you said warmly. Mrs. Weasley was one of the few people who managed to make anyone feel completely at home, no matter where. She gave you an affectionate pat on the arm. “We should get you something to eat and drink, you look famished. Dear, have you been eating enough? I know, I know, you’re awfully busy, with being an auror and working for the ministry and Dumbledore…” “Is he here?”, you interrupted her quickly. If you told Molly now that you were indeed famished, she would tow you straight to the kitchen and not let go of you until you had had a three-course meal with dessert. You didn’t want to miss the meeting at all cost. “Oh no, he couldn’t make it. He's way too busy, you know.” Sirius gently lay an arm on Mrs. Weasley to guide her back inside the living room. “Molly, let’s not overwhelm our guest, shall we?” You grinned and followed them inside, closing the door behind you.

“Well, well”, said a grumpy voice. “Look who finally decided to show up.” Mad-Eye Moody was standing near the fireplace, leaning on his wooden staff. “Sorry, Mad-Eye, really”, you apologised once more. “Fudge insisted on his auror team searching the house of another ‘suspect’.” Tonks snorted. “Turns out he was just a petty criminal dealing in smuggling dark artefacts”, you sighed. “Molly, come and sit down again”, said Arthur to his wife who was still bustling around you. “Alright, alright”, conceded Molly and retreated to sit down next to her husband, though not before patting you on the arm one last time. “Well, at least you’re here so we can get started.” You looked up to find Remus watching you and your heart swelled at the sound of his voice. You allowed yourself a smile. “Fudge is losing ground and he knows it”, said Kingsley who was already seated between Remus and Arthur. Your felt a wave of disappointment in your chest knowing that if you had been the first to enter the room, you could now be sitting next to Remus. However, the only free seat was next to Molly and opposite Tonks, right at the end of the table. You quickly made your way over to Mrs. Weasley, not wanting to disrupt Mad-Eye any longer than necessary. “Please continue, Mad-Eye”, you said once you were settled. You made eye-contact with Remus who was silently mouthing ‘I’m sorry’. You smiled half-heartedly. “It’s alright”, you mouthed back.

“Are you truly alright, dear?”, whispered Molly into your ear. “You know I could make you some hot chocolate-“

“Molly, could we please?”, began Mad-Eye when suddenly the voice of Mrs. Black filled the hallway again. “DIRTY MUGGLE FOLK, MUD-BLOODS, GOOD-FOR-NOTHINGS!” Tonks snickered. “Will someone make that woman shup up!”, hollered Mad-Eye. “Alright, everyone take five”, Kingsley sighed and got up. “This house really doesn’t do anymore”, growled Mad-Eye as he limped after Kingsley who had already left to deal with the painting.

Instantly, Tonks and Sirius started chattering. Arthur got out a copy of the Daily Prophet. “Actually”, you began and turned to Molly. “A hot chocolate would be marvellous.” Molly’s face lit up. “I knew you were hungry! Let me see, I shall make you an extra large cup of hot chocolate and-“ “It’s alright, Molly”, a voice from behind suddenly said. Remus placed a hand on Mrs. Weasley’s shoulder to keep her seated. “I’ll take it from here.” Molly looked crest-fallen. “That’s okay, Molly”, you said to try and soften the mood. “Remus knows just how I like my hot chocolate.” Mrs. Weasley eyed the man warily. “I suppose…”, she said carefully. “But you have to pay attention to the milk! It mustn’t be too hot, you see-“ “Molly”, you tried gently while getting up. “Exactly how many hot chocolates do you think Remus has already made in his life?” Mrs. Weasley turned red and mumbled something under her breath. Remus chuckled but when you made to follow him he put a hand on your arm. “Sit, relax. You had a long day.” “I haven’t seen you for days”, you murmured, meeting his eyes. “We’ll have time to catch up later. I promise.” He let his hand wander down to the hem of your sleeve, his fingertips dancing over your palm. You swallow. “Yeah, okay”, you finally agreed and lowered yourself onto the chair once more.

“So”, asked Tonks and leaned over the table. “What’s new at work?” You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help laughing at what the witch said. “Tonks, we’re literally working in the same department!” “I know”, she grinned and turned her nose blue. You giggle. “I just wanted to try out some small talk. Turns out I’m not very good at it.” “Please”, interrupted Sirius. “When have you ever been good at making small talk? One time, it was right after our great-aunt had lost her husband to a particularly bad case of…” And so the next few minutes flew by. You laughed a great deal, all thanks to Sirius recounting old family gossip and Tonks doing the most ridiculous reenactments.

After a few minutes Kingsley and Mad-Eye came back into the room, looking satisfied. Maybe they had finally managed to magic Mrs. Black silent for good?

“Your chocolate”, said Remus warmly from behind. He leaned over you to place a steaming mug of hot chocolate right in front of you, his sweater grazing your temples and you could smell his all too familiar scent. Wax candles, chalk and chocolate. “Thank you, Remus”, you said and extended your hand so your fingers brushed against each other before he retreated to go back to his seat. Looking up you found Sirius staring at you. You raised your mug in mock salute.

“Now, people”, said Mad-Eye who had resumed his place in front of the fireplace. “Arthur has told us that Fudge has changed the regulations regarding Floor 556.”

Arthur put the Daily Prophet aside and cleared his throat. “Thank you, Mad-Eye. That’s right. Up until a few weeks ago nearly all members of the Department for Magical Law Enforcement and Magical Artefacts had official access to Floor 556. This has changed last week; The Head of Department is now the only one who has access to the entire floor. Everyone else aside from him and Fudge are forbidden to enter.”

“And the Head of the Department for Magical Law Enforcement and Magical Artefacts is-“

“Newly appointed Lucius Malfoy”, interrupted Sirius Kingsley.

“That’s right”, said Mad-Eye gruffly. He leaned forward on his stick. “Poisonous snake, that Malfoy.” The auror’s left eye started swivelling around more wildly. “Luckily Kingsley has been working on the patrolling rotas.”

Kingsley tapped the table with his index finger. “It took some weeks, we didn’t want to be suspicious, but I have now aligned our patrolling rotas so that all of us aurors are patrolling floors 556, 552 and 551 on the same night. That’s as close as I could get. Arthur, you are on 552. You two”, here he nodded at Tonks and you, “you’re on 551 but Albert Runcorn’s with you. You have to lose him at some point if you’re to join Mad-Eye and me on 556.”

Mad-Eye huffed. “Guards on Floor 556 are expected by Malfoy. Arthur has noticed that he has been visiting the chamber at the end of the floor nearly every day for a week now. We think that the weapon the Death Eaters are trying to gain is behind that cursed door. Once he’s inside, we follow him. Sirius and Lupin, you two are joining us once we’re inside. You’ll have to use floo powder and apparate. Harry will give you his invisibility cloak so you can make it to Floor 556 without getting caught. We are going to need every witch and wizard. We think Lucius will have back-up too.”

Kingsley was watching everyone intently. “Any questions?”

Remus cleared his throat. “You haven’t said when you are planning to go through with this.”

“Next Friday”, Mad-Eye spoke over Kingsley who was just about to answer. “That’s the next date on which we know Lucius will meet with Fudge. We think that’s when he’s going to use the Imperio curse on him.”

“Mad-Eye”, began Sirius slowly and the tone of his voice told you that something was seriously wrong. You looked up but Sirius eyes were fixed on Remus who had suddenly turned white as a sheet. You felt your stomach tighten. _No_. Not on the day your whole operation was depending on.

“What is it?”, asked Arthur.

Remus lifted his head and a sad smile was playing on his lips. “It’s a full moon.”

The group fell silent. You bit your lip. Mad-Eye was the first to say something. “Then we gotta do it without him. We’re down one person. Kingsley, if we asked-“,

“Mad-Eye!”, said Molly stunned.

“Molly, please don’t.” Remus sounded more tired than ever.

“Remus deserves to fight with us”, you heard yourself say. At this Mad-Eye stood up straighter and with one sweeping motion he lifted his staff and brought it to a halt only a few inches away from your face.

“DESERVES TO FIGHT?”, cried the man. “He should be glad he doesn’t have to! Others are risking their lives while he gets to sleep it off!” Sirius jumped from his chair. “Mad-Eye, you have no idea what you are talking about. You don’t know the things Remus has to go through-.”

“Yes, we are all going through things!”, snapped Moody. He turned back to you. “This is not a game, child!” You felt as if you’d been slapped in the face. “This is far more important than someone’s hurt ego, no matter how valued their talent and skills are in the Order. We won’t let this operation go awry because of the selfish needs of two people, one of whom so inexperienced, they are like a welp just learning how to bark!” You felt your cheeks burning with shame. Never in your life had you ever felt so embarrassed. "Just because I am the Order newest member... doesn't mean that I am inexperienced", you got out through gritted teeth. "This discussion is over", said Alastor and shook his head. You looked to Sirius for help but he was just raising his hands as if he was out of arguments.

“I suppose what I have to say on the matter doesn’t matter?”, Remus ventured slowly.

“No”, decided Mad-Eye.

“Yes”, you said at the same time.

Mad-Eye shook his head and got out his wand. He pointed at the door, which flew open with a bang. Instantaneously, Mrs. Black’s screams started ringing through the house. “MUDBLOODS; FILTHY TRAITORS! YOU SHOULD ALL BE SACRIFICIED TO THE DARK LORD’S NOBLE CAUSE!”

“You”, began Mad-Eye and pointed his wand at you. “And you, Remus”, here he nodded at Lupin, "...maybe you should take some time off to discuss your lovers' quarrel?” You felt your ears getting hot, but this time you weren't willing to risk giving Alastor lip again. You got up, pointedly pushing your chair back in such an agonizing, slow motion that it scraped all over the floor.

“Yes, Sir”, you said mockingly before turning your back to the table and storming out of the room. You could hear Remus’ measured steps coming from behind. “Kitchen”, you said brusquely over the portrait’s screams and this time you didn’t bother to check whether he was following you. Luckily, the twins and Ginny had already left. Only the rest of the cards were still lying on the table. You turned around at the sound of Remus closing the door. “That went well”, you said sarcastically and made an undefined hand gesture.

“Tea?”, asked Remus, pointing his wand first at the tab, then at the copper kettle. You shrugged and leaned against the counter next to the fridge. “Mad-Eye’s right, you know”, Remus began, his back turned to you while he was busying himself with looking through the vast assortment of teas Molly had started collecting in the kitchen cupboard.

You narrowed your eyes. “What?” Remus turned around, mirroring your posture. “We do need to talk about how-“

“-how I always defend you when no one else does?”, you interrupt him with a bitter voice.

“-how my… condition shouldn’t be at the forefront of everyone’s mind when Order business is being discussed. Mad-Eye is right. We are all going through things.”

“Have you heard the way Mad-Eye was talking about your ‘condition’?”, you asked incredulously.

“And have you seen their faces when they were once again reminded of what I am? Being in the Order, fighting for the cause… it makes me feel normal. Before Sirius brought it up, I was just another wizard.” Remus sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

_Normal_. The word echoed through your mind and you felt everything inside of you contracting into a lump. The longing with which Remus had said that word made your heart ache with pain and pity. You tried not to let it show – Remus hated when you felt sorry for him – but there were times when you simply couldn’t suppress your emotions. “You have such a big heart and yet you always make yourself so small.” Your voice was slightly shaking and you gripped the counter tighter. “I just don’t want you to become a background character to your own life.” There was a yearning in your voice. It was hard to communicate all that you were feeling right now with nothing but words.

At that, Remus lifted his head. “I spent so many years trying to hide who I really am, it is easy to forget that I don’t have to do it any longer." You reach out your hands to him. “Come here.” He took a few steps towards you and you took his hands in yours, pulling him so close, you could smell him again. Remus rested his head on yours. “I guess my outburst”, you took a deep breath to inhale his scent, “was another way of showing you.”

“Showing me what?”, Remus asked.

“That you’re not a background character in _my_ life.”


End file.
